This is gonna be one of those “real” TMI posts, or at least part of it will be, when I tell you about Roy.
Roy is my hemorrhoid.
Because why the heck not?
Most people get them because they’re constipated or they strain. Not me. I get it from the diarrhea.
He’s a little…?$&@!
So, over New Years, Brad and I went to Florida with his family. They own a time share in Kissimmee and I’ve been going with them for years. Anyway, we usually do summer, but have made the occasional winter trip.
Lemme tell you, this will probably be the last winter trip! Don’t get me wrong, time with the family was great and we had a good time. But it was just one of those “nothing is working out” types of trips.
First, traffic going down. Not fun. Brad and I left the night before because we were going to have to leave early to head home because he had work. We had a hotel voucher that was going to expire, so we decided to use it so we can start our day earlier in Kissimmee. Traffic leaving SC to enter GA sucked. Traffic on I4 around Orlando sucked. Trafffffffic succccccckkkkeed. We drove to Jacksonville Friday night and then to Kissimmee Saturday morning. (The hotel in Jacksonville was awesome, though!) His family left SC on Saturday and it took them all day to get to FL, no lie. Traffic was awful, again.
Next, it was cold. Not the usual January in Florida cold either, where it was tolerable in the day and a little less tolerable at night. It was cold, windy, and rainy. We wanted to do stuff outside but couldn’t. It didn’t help that I was trying to avoid the elements to avoid getting sick. With the exception of maybe 2 of our 5 days there, I stayed inside in my PJs and comfy clothes. It was cold. Cold.
The entire trip was such a contrast to what we usually experienced when we go there. We payed bingo and trivia, went to the bar (I had Shirley Temples, thank you very much), the guys golfed, we played games…it was still fun, but there were no long days by the pool, walking around doing nothing, nights at the bar…it was lacking because it was just so cold and dreary and dark. It seemed overcast and dark the entire time. I can’t wait for our next summer visit, because that’ll be fun.
Now let me segue back to Roy. Florida is when I discovered Roy. I think the multiple hours sitting in the car on the way down helped him make his presence known. So once I discovered what I was dealing with, we (we as in Brad) got Preparation H, and I’m pretty much good to go. Roy is quite literally a pain in the ass, but he’s fairly decent as far as hemorrhoids go. (Don’t ever Google hemorrhoids, just don’t do it. If you think you have one, just accept it and get the butt cream. Don’t look it up.) He’s of a very small and tame variety, and I’ll leave it at that.
Snow. I did mention snow in the title of this post. It’s something I’m quite familiar with, having spent 20 years in New York, however it’s something I’ve grown accustomed to not having to deal with the last 15 years. (For the record, it took me a really REALLY long time to do that math. I know I moved to SC when I was 20, but since I’m 36 – yes, I had a birthday last month, Happy Birthday to me 🎂 🎈- I thought I’d been here in SC for 16 years. Not the case since I came here in 2002. 15.5 to be exact. Anyway…….)
We left Florida on Wednesday to return home to SC. Wednesday was the day SC was expecting a few inches of snow. A. Few. Inches. Of. Snow. I don’t know about you, but when I hear “few” I think 3, maybe 4. Anything more than that is “several.” Right? I swear, the only job where you can be wrong like 80% of the time and not get fired: meteorology. Granted, the weather is a difficult, difficult thing to predict. Anyway, Summerville got 7 inches of snow that day. Not so bad in comparison to what I grew up with. What wasn’t really considered was the ice. Everything kept freezing and melting and melting and freezing, over and over and over again. The Charleston area was pretty much closed down from Wednesday through the weekend. Some schools didn’t return until Tuesday, extending winter break by another week. It’s not that state weather emergency people are obtuse, it’s that the state is not equipped to deal with this kind of weather since it snows maybe once every 5-10 years, and is usually just a dusting. I kind of feel like something more could have been done on the highways, though, particularly I95.
So let’s talk about that trip home, shall we? We left Kissimmee at 7:00am on Wednesday. ETA was somewhere in the early afternoon, maybe 2:00? I can’t remember. Started out ok, made it out of Florida in decent time. There was some rain that slowed us down, but we weren’t expecting the wintry mix until Georgia.
Traffic started about 3/4 of the way through Georgia, when the snow started to accumulate.
It was pretty to look at.
Then we sat in traffic FOREVER trying to get into SC. Anyone who has gone north on 95 from Florida knows that when the lanes go from 3 to 2 at the GA/SC line, it’s a mess. A mess!! Add snow.
So we stopped to use the bathroom and grab a bite to eat, then continued to sit in not moving traffic.
Then we’re in SC, and for a moment, traffic parts and we see a rare sight…SCDOT plows! Note that the plows are not actually touching the roadway…
Note the surface of I95 at that point. That photo was taken near Ridgeland at about 4:00pm. It was still snowing and about to get dark. We were probably driving 25-30 mph, if that. Why? Well, because we were in a rear wheel drive V8 vehicle and anytime you hit the gas, the back end went sideways.
Enter night, and that snowy, packed down road surface turned to ice. No lie. We slid everywhere. Even going less than 5 mph in the nearly dead stop traffic. Even stopped in place. I swear the vibrations of the car alone had us sliding off the road. We weren’t the only ones having the issue, though it is the south so most people were in trucks and SUVs, or front wheel/all wheel drive vehicles.
The only way we could get traction was to ride partially in the shoulder where we could get a grip the powdery snow that hadn’t been packed down. But that only worked so much since some people were pulled over in the shoulder because no one wanted to drive in that crap! We spent about an hour within a mile of our exit, partly stuck in the shoulder, partly stuck in traffic, and partly trying to decide if we just wanted to park and walk.
So we got off in Walterboro around 6:00 pm. We were about 45 minutes from home, but decided we’d stay at a hotel because if the highway was that bad, we just knew the road home would be worse. And the hotels off the exit had no vacancies. Yay! So we said to heck with it, we would just keep going, make it to my parents to get Daisy and stay there overnight. We drove down 17a at 20 mph the entire way, with two wheels in the shoulder and every muscle clenched. We went sideways once on Highway 61, after moving back into the road after letting an emergency vehicle pass. We also only hit one curb while riding the shoulder. We finally made it to my parents house at 8:30 that night. We didn’t leave for 2 days. We couldn’t.
Brad wanted to sell his car and get a truck or something built for all weather. I talked him off the ledge. It’s not like this happens often, and we do have an SUV, we just decided to take the newer car on vacation to FLORIDA where we shouldn’t have to deal with winter weather.
So yeah…that was our snowpocalypse/snowmaggedon drama. Of course neither of us had boots or a winter jacket with us since we packed for Florida, so once we settled down, we couldn’t even go out and enjoy the snow. I’m so glad it’s over and we made it home without crashing! That was just an absolute mess.